Saw it in my sister’s folder and i was laughing hard at some parts of this message. I know most of you dweebs out there would read it and just pretend u never knew these stuff, but deep inside… a guilt will be growing. Just be careful that this guilt doesn’t burst too late… READ IT THROUGH!
Muslim Girl’s Guide For Dealing With
Guys!!!!!!!!!!
(From One Sister To Another)
Life is full of crazy obstacles, but the
one that will probably bug you the most and always be getting in the way is the
opposite gender. Here, from one sister to another, is a Muslim girls guide for
how to deal with guys.
No Touching! Muslims are forbidden to touch
any non-Mahram (Mahram is your dad, brothers, father-in-law, husbands,
grandfathers, and the siblings of your parents) person of the opposite gender.
That means no patting on the back, no hand shaking, no pushing, no shoving, no
holding hands, and obviously no kissing and all that. If you’re in a difficult
situation where you think someone will try to shake your hand, the best things
to do is just smile and say, “My people don’t shake hands” and then explain
why. And why, is because we believe a women touch is a privilege and she
doesn’t just share it with anyone.
No Flirting! Not even with Muslims, not
even in an Islamic school, especially not in a masjid! Flirting means that
you’re saying or doing things on purpose that make the other person attracted
to you. There’s no set criterion for what flirting is, but any girl knows what
is and how to do it.
Muslim women are supposed to behave better
than the average woman, who has to be beautiful for all the men around her all
the time, who are trapped behind their looks and only judge themselves to be
worthy if half the men they know are in love with them. A wise dude once said,
"Don’t start the mower unless you intend to cut the grass". If you
don’t want a guys advances, then don’t do anything to earn them. There’s no
point in throwing yourself all over guys and trying to seduce half the world.
You really only want to marry one guy, and you want to spend the rest of your
life with him, and chances are he isn’t going to be some dork you fluttered
your eyelashes at in high school.
No Boyfriends! As a Muslim, you know that
having a boyfriend is haraam because it counts as Zina - fornication.
Fornication, in easy English, means sexual sin. Allah expressly forbids
romantic or sexual relationships outside of marriage. When people go against
that rule, then you get the typical western society where people play sexual merry-go-round
with each other, giving each other STDs, using and abusing each other, and
destroying the sacredness of marriage as an institution. You can’t even be sort
of engaged to a guy, and then "date" to get to know each other. In
Islam, non-Mahram men and women aren’t allowed to be alone together (that
includes talking on the phone!), to touch (not even shake hands), or even gaze
at each other. It doesn’t matter if the guy you like is Muslim, a great guy and
the Prince of England, you cant date him.
No Boyfriends! The easiest way to ensure
that you don’t end up falling in love with some guy before you’re ready to get
married is to avoid making friends with boys. Of course in school you have to
interact with boys all over the place, but that doesn’t mean you should be best
buds with them. Probably 90% of relationships begin from friendships. Chances
are you’re not ready for marriage, your parents aren’t ready to let you get
married, you’re still in school/college and your crush is not the sort of fellow
you want to spend the rest of your life with, so just avoid being friends with
him in the first place. It really is the best formula for saving yourself from
needless temptation.
When you have to talk to boys in school as
team mates, lab partners, group members, and peers, it’s best to maintain a
distance. That means that you don’t confide in them, you don’t let down your
guard, you don’t unnecessarily engage them in needless conversation, don’t joke
around, and never flirt. Yeah it may be a little hard, but this is your
afterlife were talking about. So many great sisters have put themselves in
really sticky situations because they allowed a boy to get to know them, and
either ended up liking the boy, or having the boy like them. Once that happens
you either end up becoming a pair (which is HARAAM!), or having to end your
friendship. Instead of letting it get to that point, and then having to kill a
friendship that you probably worked hard on cultivating, you should just stop
it before it begins. There are plenty of great girls all around who can be your
friends and if you really think only a guy will understand your problem, and
then talk to your REAL brother, or your father, or an uncle.
No Talking on the Phone with Boys! In Islam
its forbidden for non-related guys and girls to be alone together because there
is the chance for physical zina, vocal zina, and zina of the eyes. That means,
with no one there to watch you guys except that boogery shaitaan, then you
might be tempted to actually DO something, or say gross things, or just stare
at each other all lustily. With that in mind, its also a safe bet to assume
that talking on the phone with non-Mahram guys is a no-no too. Why? Because
unless you’ve both got it on speaker-phone and you’re chaperoned by a
responsible person, then you’re still kind of "alone" with him. The
people in your house can’t hear what he’s saying to you, and his family can’t
hear what you’re saying to him. There’s a chance for some bad stuff then, so
just avoid it. Not to mention, having some dude saying things into your ear
that no one else can hear would be gross in real life, why is it okay for him
to talk into your ear via the telephone? For the most part it’s just too
intimate.
Be Disaffected! What does that mean?
Disaffected means un-affect-able. That means that nothing a dude can say can
hit your nerves, make you blush, or get a reaction out of you. It also means
that you are uninterested in what they do as well. Imagine yourself being in an
airplane looking down on the scenery below. You’re a little interested in what’s
going on down there, and it may look really nice, but you know that to get to
the scenery you have to jump off the plane. Like the scenery miles below you,
the guy may look really nice, but you know that to get him you have to jump off
the plane… errr…commit spiritual suicide, and though the fall may be fun,
you will eventually hit the ground 600 meters below and go SPLAT! on Judgment
Day. Maybe even sooner.
Short of becoming an ice-princess, being
disaffected involves putting up a mental wall between you and all of male-kind.
They don’t know your thoughts and you don’t care for theirs. You can interact
with guys at school/college within the bounds of Islam, but always maintain a
formal distance. Don’t ask a guy how his infected toe is doing. Don’t give him
a hug when he looks down. Don’t offer to help him with his homework. Don’t go out
of your way to remind him that you exist, and that you’re not half bad looking.
Even if you don’t feel like behaving, make yourself behave anyway, your
afterlife is important enough to discipline yourself for.
The safest philosophy when dealing with
guys is remembering this "He’s not what I want, so why should I do
anything to make him interested in me? That’ll just make for a painfully
awkward situation and it’s not worth the sin anyhow."
Remember that you’re always being watched!
Would you act all giggly and stupid with boys if the Prophet Muhammad (peace
and blessings be upon him) could see you? No, right? Because you’d feel like an
ungrateful idiot for disregarding the religion that Prophet Muhammad (peace and
blessings be upon him) took so much pain for just to deliver to you. Well,
imagine how ungrateful it is to act like a supreme idiot when Allah can see you
all the time, and it’s really stupid to disregard the religion that Allah
prescribed, the favours He’s bestowed upon you. How dumb is it to take the eyes
that Allah gave you and do things with them that He told you not to? (Like
goggle at boys?) How much stupider is it that He can see you doing this, and
you know it!
You have no secrets! Not because Big
Brother (whoever that is) is watching you, but because every single thing you
ever did will become public domain on the Day of Judgment, and you’ll be
brought to trial to defend what you did. Just don’t do anything that you wouldn’t
want your parents, your siblings, your teachers, your friends, and the whole
world to know about, ok?
buzzing off…
faNa~
