A Young Muslim’s Perception On Marriage
Assalamu
Alaikum
Marriage is an acquired relationship between a man and a
woman as part of bringing together and expanding families. In Islam, utmost
importance is given to marriage by Allah. Several reasons for marriage are: 1)
Establishing Kinship
2) Protecting One’s Chastity
3) Spread Islam Through Children
4) And
many more…
It is important to realise that nothing in the world happens without Allah’s (swt)
intentions. No marriage is a curse, especially if it is between two God-fearing
people. In fact, marriage is more of a test for every couple to understand and
accept each other’s differences and build their lives around it. Once married,
a person is no more an individual, they would have to think about the other
half of them they have left behind at home.
Anger is shaithaan. This is clearly stated in the Quran and
in hadiths; that when one gets angry, say “a’uzubillahi minashaithaannir
rajeem” (Sahih Al- Bukhari 8.136). Anger spoils Imaan. Therefore, anger should
be kept at bay, especially in a marriage. The more composed one is, the better
his life would be. Marriage is about compromise; one cannot say that he/she is
always compromising and the spouse isn’t and be angry about it – because that
is what Allah (swt) has intended. Keep Allah’s (swt) intentions for your life
in mind and anger will not come upon you, Inshah Allah.
Marriage is about overcoming each other’s insecurities. In a
marriage, patience and tolerance are the best virtues to be kept forward. One
is to be patient and his/her spouse and in case of any wrong doing, to correct
it in any way that neither party is offended or hurt.
One way to maintain marital relationships strong is by doing
religious duties together; from praying fard prayers to Haj and every other
religious activity like reciting the Quran and teaching each other the
religion. No man can know the religion so perfectly that he needn’t have
someone tell him something he does not know. That is in fact the beauty of
Islam – which it is a learning journey that never ends. Memorise surahs together, decipher the
meanings of ayahs together; these are indeed ways to build your relationship at
the same time taking more steps in the path to Jannah.
The primary
thought that every individual have to keep in mind is that the world is a
battlefield and we as Muslims are warriors of Islam. No more emphasis can be
given to KEEP SHAITHAAN AT BAY. Always think in terms of Allah (swt) and Islam,
fear no one except Allah (swt). No entity is worth to be feared by a Muslim
other than God. Keep in mind that respect and fear are entirely different.
Respect your fellow Muslims, humans and all of Allah’s (swt) creations, but
fear on Allah (swt). Allah (swt) alone has been responsible for you have been
through and what you would be going through.
Marriage is
a blessing from Allah (swt) and loved by Allah (swt). And it is almost natural
for shaithaan to hate whatever Allah (swt) loves. Therefore, shaithaan is
always persuing ways to break a marriage. It is the duty of a married couple to
keep shaithaan at bay by not getting angry, being entirely devoted to Allah
(swt) alone and being prepared to face every test that is ought to come your
way.
In the mind
of every married person, there should be no doubt about the marriage. It should
be instilled in every individual’s mind that no marriage is destined for
divorce. Every marriage can work, if both parted put equal effort in making it
work. A marriage should not be broken because one cannot tolerate the character
of his/her spouse. That is such a shame one brings onto him/herself.
Work on
compromise, Ask Allah (swt) for guidance and accept all kinds of guidance be it
being from a close relative or one’s child. It does not matter who is the one
giving the advice, it is about what is being said in the advice. In the end,
every word you hear or say is with Allah’s (swt) intentions.
Our duty as
good, God fearing Muslims is to work our way towards Jannah, nearer to our Lord
in the path He has cast for us. Marriage is a blessing that comes with its fair
share of Allah’s (swt) tests in it. Our job is to overcome the difficulties, not
give up and make the best out of what we are given.
Salaam.
Irfana
Ikbal
